"These are the best days of your life."
I'm sure every new mama has heard this line. I've rolled my eyes at it countless times in the past 2 years of my motherhood journey. The most recent time I was told this famous line was from my Gma just last week. For some reason it struck me differently this time, and it's been bouncing around in my head ever since. I realized that I'm always trying to speed everything up; get to the next stage as fast as I can. Just trying to make it until nap time, until my husband gets home, bedtime, the weekend, the baby sleeps all night, the kids start school, we can afford vacation, a nicer car, a bigger house. The list goes on and on and turns into a huge monster that steals joy. But what about right now? My life right now is what I've always wanted. What I dreamed about and prayed for. Why am I always trying to rush it?
Every diaper I change, and spit up explosion I clean, every time I sing that line from that Sugarland song, "we're so broke that it ain't funny", plan a date with my husband around the baby's eating schedule, the days I don't even brush my teeth, whisper, "I love you" to my husband in the dark because we finally got the baby to sleep, sing Wheels On The Bus, ask my toddler what a whale says (it's my favorite) say, "Sit down, get down, give me that," and, "Use your words!" Every time I go to the bathroom with an audience, yell at the barking dog, read a Buzzfeed article while I'm nursing the baby at 4am.
Every load of laundry, sink full of dirty dishes, and dust bunny I sweep. When we have PB&J for dinner...again. Every crayon mark on the furniture, floor, walls, doors, etc. Every time my coffee gets spilled, every runny nose I wipe, when I watch Daniel Tiger instead of Grey's Anatomy. When I use words like, "paci, night night, bye bye, and beep beep." When my #ootd is a nursing tank and maternity leggings.
When my husband knows just how to make me laugh when I feel like I'm drowning in it all.
Every stretch mark, breast pad, and the dark circles under my eyes are pieces of my dream, and I'm letting it slip right by.
One day my life will be very different. I won't have to speed eat my meals. I won't have diapers in my purse, or goldfish on the floorboard of the car. I'll shower more than once a week, (okay maybe that habit started before I had kids) and have a lot less laundry to fold. And maybe someday I'll have a nicer car and a bigger house and we'll go on vacations.
But for right now, I want to embrace it. I don't want to miss anymore moments.
I'm living my dream.
