Sunday, August 21, 2016

The Seven Year Itch


"The seven-year itch is a psychological term that suggests that happiness in a relationship declines after around year seven of a marriage. Divorce rates show a trend in couples that, on average, divorce around seven years. Around the seventh year, tensions rise to a point that couples either divorce or adapt to their partner." -Good ole Wikipedia

The "seven year itch" showed up right on cue this year, falling in the midst of a new baby and unemployment. You know the part of the vows that say, "better for worse, for richer for poorer?" Well, we're hitting the worse and poorer side right about now.

When Josh and I were dating, I told him I'd go anywhere with him. I told him I'd live in a crappy apartment and eat spaghettios out of the can if we needed to. What I really meant was that I wanted a story with him. An adventure. Looking back over the course of our marriage we've had just that! From living in a 399 square foot single wide to my grandmas attic, we've made it work! Moved cross country, adopted a dog, bought a house, brought two humans into the world! We've fought and we've laughed and we've seen each other at our worst and best. We've prayed together and cried together. Road trips and flights with an infant, food poisoning, laundry that sits in the dryer for days, sometimes weeks. We've adventured all right.

We've watched many a marriage fall apart in our seven year run, and each time the news comes we hold each other a little tighter. (A lot of the time I cry and say, "PLEASE DON'T EVER LEAVE ME.") And while it breaks our hearts to see friend's marriages crumble, it also gives us a boost and makes us ask the question, "How can we do better? How can we make our marriage last?"

So, here's what we've come up with so far:

Romans 12:10
This is something my parents drilled in me growing up and now it plays a HUGE role in our marriage. Constantly trying to out do each other in honor, constantly putting the other person before yourself.

Understanding Personalities
Josh is an introvert and I'm an extrovert. We learned early on that because of that we have different needs. When Josh is feeling burnt out and needs to "recharge" I know he needs a night alone. However, when I am feeling that way, he knows that I need a night out with friends to recharge! (We took a personality test during our pre-marital counseling and it really helped us start out on the right foot!)

Open Communication
We literally talk about everything. We've learned that the more we talk and talk things out, the less time we have to hold grudges or get mad. We don't keep secrets from each other- we put everything out in the open.

Keep it funny!
We laugh (at each other) A LOT. Josh tells stupid jokes and I mispronounce words just like my mother.

Say It Like You Mean It
We say I love you about a billion times a day. Sounds cheesy, I know, but it's true. Sometimes we even text it from the bathroom. It's the last thing we say to each other before we go to sleep every night. It's super important to us, especially on hard days. Knowing that we're both still in this even when we piss each other off.

Flirt it up, y'all.
This one speaks for itself ;)

So, "seven year itch", BITE ME. Josh, I'd rather be itchy with you than anyone else in the whole world. Happy 7th Anniversary. Here's to many, many more years of us!





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